There is a perennial debate among people who come from the trans communities over whether "trans" or "transgender" are labels that should remain with you through your entire life, and whether you should "wear it with pride" or not. There are lots of different viewpoints and rationales used to support one side or another. In my definitions page it is clear how I see the issue with the definitions I present for transgender and cisgender. Through those definitions I make a case that follows my underlying belief that gender and sex are two separate things, and gender is all about how you interact with other people throughout your life.
Going through the transition process is a journey. Usually a very long and slow journey with plenty of twists and bumps along the way. Perhaps a good metaphor is going on a cross-country road trip—from New York to Los Angeles—and taking Route 66 to get there. It is a route with lots twist and turns, bumps, detours, and stop lights along the way. You visit places you didn't know existed and make lots of different friends, many of whom you will never see again when you pull out of town. While driving down the road I may have the top down, put my arms in the air and shout WooHoo! I'm on Route 66! But when I get to California, I'm not staying on Route 66—I'm going to Disneyland! I may keep in touch with some of the amazing people I met along the way, and maybe we'll even get together for drinks to reminisce about the journey, but when I set up my home in California and get my ID changed over, I'm a Californian now. I'm no longer a traveler on some obscure route through Oklahoma. Yes, I traveled on Route 66 once, but not anymore—that's just a part of my history.
Personally, I feel that the Trans community, and the larger community as well, needs to understand and be ok with the idea that, for many people, "Trans" is a journey, not a destination. While some people insists that you can never shed the trans identity, others, like me, feel that it is only a meaningful part of your life while the people in your life experience your gender as different than you know it to be.
Going through the transition process is a journey. Usually a very long and slow journey with plenty of twists and bumps along the way. Perhaps a good metaphor is going on a cross-country road trip—from New York to Los Angeles—and taking Route 66 to get there. It is a route with lots twist and turns, bumps, detours, and stop lights along the way. You visit places you didn't know existed and make lots of different friends, many of whom you will never see again when you pull out of town. While driving down the road I may have the top down, put my arms in the air and shout WooHoo! I'm on Route 66! But when I get to California, I'm not staying on Route 66—I'm going to Disneyland! I may keep in touch with some of the amazing people I met along the way, and maybe we'll even get together for drinks to reminisce about the journey, but when I set up my home in California and get my ID changed over, I'm a Californian now. I'm no longer a traveler on some obscure route through Oklahoma. Yes, I traveled on Route 66 once, but not anymore—that's just a part of my history.
Personally, I feel that the Trans community, and the larger community as well, needs to understand and be ok with the idea that, for many people, "Trans" is a journey, not a destination. While some people insists that you can never shed the trans identity, others, like me, feel that it is only a meaningful part of your life while the people in your life experience your gender as different than you know it to be.
July 26, 2010 at 6:33 AM
I like your blog (discovered it on americantransman). You know I loved this post, it gave me a lot of peace. I'm going to return to read it often. So true... everything in life is transcient. Your style of writing is minimal and zen. Pls write some more!
thanks
J